Zombies, WTF!

Today is soap box day. I haven’t had the greatest week and I need to  blow off some steam in the form of an editorial. So, to start things off, I’m going to discuss my growing concern with Zombies.

Zombies, our favorite brain-eating undead hooligans from movies, TV, and other sources of fiction have become much more than just cult idols. Zombies are everywhere, and its fucking annoying. Long gone are the days where zombies represented a frightening horror. George Romero’s zombies are rolling in their grave because they have become the fodder onto which the masses now feed…blindly. Zombies, when used sparingly are the stuff of nightmares, ripping the pink flesh from your limbs. Today, zombies have become so clichéd they are in everything from Call of Duty to tampon commercials (well maybe not).

I applaud Valve for creating left for dead. They have a very interesting take on survival horror as a genre, and used Zombies to achieve that goal. I will give respect to any developer (I.E. Capcom) who uses zombies as a way to tell a story, but not blatant money making. I do take offence to Call of Duty with zombies. To me, its almost the pinnacle of laziness. “How can we as a developer easily make a coop mode that doesn’t require a lot of effort?” Answer: Zombie Mode. Lets just make a small map, put in 4 players and just send wave after wave of zombies at them. No need to innovate, just give extra EXP and bonus points. No one will notice.

When and where will this trend of zombification stop? Will Madden NFL 2013 have a zombie mode wherein you can literally play as or against the Monsters of the Gridiron? All puns aside, is this really what gamers what or are gamers as brainless as the zombies they shoot? Killing zombies is best left for people who have limited ammo and no high tech weaponry.  Lets just make a game where zombies fill the screen, you can press a red button to nuke them all. Now, that’s what I call Modern Warfare!

“Hey, psssttt…..the zombies are YOU, brah!”

Monday Night Combat Comes to PC

According to the latest news update on Steam. Uber Entertainment’s Monday Night Combat heads to the PC this January. This news comes more than a week after MNC was updated with new content and a flurry of bug fixes. MNC, for those not familiar, is a hybrid shooter running on the Unreal 3 engine. It’s a zesty mix of shooter and tower defense, topped off with a dash of game show for flavor. With a zany announcer and a lovable mascot that becomes your target during intermission, MNC packs in action by the ‘asston.’ Fight wave after wave of marching robots in Co-op blitz mode, or go hardcore with Crossfire mode where two teams compete to destroy the other’s “money ball.” Power your player with bacon and churros to get the edge on your opponent.

I’ve been playing this on the Xbox for a while now and its worth the 15 dollar price tag. In my experience with MNC, the Xbox version suffers from low frame rate in many situations (hopefully not a problem on the PC side) and a few minor balance issues.  Performance issues aside, the game is a solid class-based team shooter for the same price as many map packs for EA or Activision games.

There and Back Again: A Dedicated Tale

Well, its been a while since I’ve written. Alot has changed over the course of the past year. I’ve shoved my foot in my mouth buy purchasing an Xbox. I figured might as well jump on the bandwagon, play some neat games, and give Microsoft the chance to rape my wallet. Nothing really has piqued my interested lately other than the whole PC-Infinity Ward-MW2-Dedicated Server hoopla. After ingesting so many forum posts and troll topics that I’ve finally decided to comment on the whole situation. I find this debate especially close to my heart since the purchase of my Xbox 2 months ago.

Let’s debrief for a minute. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, one of the most anticipated titles of 2009 was released to a firestorm of controversy earlier this month. PC gamers felt like they were getting hosed by IW/Activision because of several factors.

1. Dedicated Servers
2. Matchmaking Service
3. Price

I feel that the PC gamers pissed off at IW/Activision have a right to be. Infinity Ward is starting a new service with the launch of the game. IWNet is supposed to be the end-all-cure-all for PC gaming. It’s supposedly going to streamline the gaming experience and make it easier on everyone. Everyone except the competitive gamers. PCG’ers are used to having complete control over the games that they play. Take counter-strike for instance. Just one game, but if you were to look at a server list there are about 100 different mods running on the servers allowing them to tweak game modes and damage to a level that seems fun for the server administrator and his/her friends. However, IW sees this as a way to cheat the system. That type of modding allows for unbalanced games, and an “unwanted” game experience. Here, I do have to agree with IW. Some of the COD4 modded servers with 32-64 players is just absolutely ridiculous. It’s not fun, you die as soon as you spawn. However, whoever is hosting/paying for the server has the right to do whatever. For this reason, the completive gamers went up in arms because this wouldn’t allow them to change game settings needed to play competitively.

So, continuing the story of “Activision Knows Best” we move on to Matchmaking with IWnet. With the dedicated server removed from the equation, IWnet implements a P2P matchmaking service that will automatically find the “best host” with the “best connection” to all players and then will start the game. That sounds great and all, but what happens if you’re playing a game with friends and a dipshit decides to crash your party. How do you get rid of him? What if he is cheating? Well you’re shit out of luck, should have started a private game. Apparently MW2 has no way to kick disruptive or cheating players from games. So when that haxor shows up the only way to get rid of him is to start a new game.

Finally, we move on to the price point of the SKU. The going rate for a “next gen” title is $60 bucks. Alright, we used to pay that kind of dough for an SNES game back in the day. But $60 for a PC Game? I don’t think so. The most common association to why console games are about $10 more expensive than the same game on the PC would be due to licensing fees. But that doesn’t make sense for a PC game, where there are no fees to make a game. That 10 bucks is going right into Activision’s coffers. So, not only do PC gamers have “less” than they are used to, but also have to pay more. I think that’s fucked up.

Console Gamers Are Idiots

I’m tired of seeing comments on reviews from reputable sources dogging the reviewer for being biased. I have a feeling that 90% of game reviewers don’t give one iota of one percent of a fuck about what system the game is on. They didn’t have to buy the console to play the game, they are given an assignment and usually can play on their employer’s dime. A game does not become great just because it is on the Xbox 360 or PS3. A game is good because it has merit, it has some sort of redeeming quality to make it stand out from the mountain of trash that is produced every year.  Its a sad day when kids have to sit around and belittle others to justify their 400 dollar game console purchase. All I can say is that you should have invested that 400 dollars into a gun to shoot yourself in the head. Console owners like to get a stick in their ass because they consistently pay 10-20 dollars more for the same game released on the PC.

Another good example of this debate is my previously posted article and the comments that follow Mr. Hip-hop’s spiel on how Gabe Newell hasn’t created anything that lives up to KZ2’s “quality.”

It’s hard to try to have a logical debate with these kinds of people, because they don’t use it. When you try to debate the finer points, your mother and her genitals are thrown into the picture, or you are called a homosexual.

Sometimes I wish the internet wasn’t the internet. In my opinion console gamers (fan boys) are tools of the man. Literally. You are mindlessly promoting a product, and you aren’t even getting paid. Its a very jingoistic attitude towards video games, and quite detrimental to the gaming community as a whole.

You don’t have to take my word for it…

“Hip-Hop Gamer” and “Real Talk”

Ok, my blog may not be the pinnacle of game journalism, but I think I have a somewhat objective point of view when it comes to gaming platforms. Each system has merits and pitfalls, good games and bad games, but if there is one thing that I can’t stand is “fanboy-ism.” Check out the Hip-Hop Gamer’s nice article on Valve.

I can’t use 1st hand knowledge about Killzone2 because I don’t own a Playstation 3. However, the reports I have been reading are here and there, some good, some bad. The overall impression that I get is that it has pretty good graphics and good gun play, but doesn’t do much to break boundaries. With that said lets dissect what Mr. Hip-Hop had to say about Valve.

“He refuse to develop games for the PS3 console because of its hard-to-develop-for cell, or so he says. This means we wont be seeing any PS3 port of Left 4 Dead.”

As a PC Games developer, to get the most bang for their buck, sticking with what you know makes creating good games easier.  Gabe Newell understands economics and doesn’t just make games. The PC and 360 use vary similar architecture, making ports very easy. Making PS3 games would require a significant investment of time and money just to learn the technology. Valve uses a Kaizen philosophy with their games, meaning that they continually test and improve their games until they are “done.” I think that Valve would not be able to the quality games that they want to to make if they had to learn the Cell Architecture.

“Valve hasn’t ever made anything close to the quality of killzone 2 this generation on the so called easy-to-develop-for platform labeled Xbox 360.”

First off, Valve is primarily a PC games company. You should be comparing the PC and PS3. Half-Life was released in 1998. It was stunning because of the games narrative(or lack thereof), the interactivity of game (I.E. puzzles). Half-Life 2 again was lauded for its story and use of puzzles, and stunning graphics for the time. Portal was a quirky game that surprised most critics in 2007 with a great story with fairly limited set pieces and unforgettable characters. Not to mention TF2 and Left 4 Dead, oh yeah Counter-Strike the most played online shooter ever. What has Killzone2 done? Look pretty? I guess. Has Killzone 2 redefined any boundaries, does it make you think when you play it? Do you have any sort of epiphany or catharsis when you play? Do you get emotionally attached to any of the characters? Do you do anything more than shoot monsters and take cover?

“Gabe Newell, as a well respected game developer should welcome the challenge, game development is not always going to be easy and you have to work hard at it to get amazing results as shown in Killzone 2”

Again, this is more of a numbers/money “thing” than it is a challenge to make a game for the PS3. The Game Biz is a tough industry, and if you can’t make back your loses from making a PS3 game, you probably shouldn’t make it. As far as Amazing results, what does that entail? A fully working beta game? Pretty graphics? 1.1million pre orders? That is just telling me that Killzone 2 might be the only shooter, or game for that matter, that is worth a damn on the PS3. Maybe I’m not smoking enough chronic to see the “amazing results.”

I don’t want to say that KZ2 is a bad game, but you can’t tell me that it is some how superior to Half-Life2. I am seeing the COD-syndrome here. Lets take something that sells well, lets rehash the same shit, and put it in a new box to sell it. Valve is guilty of that to some extent, but I sure as hell didn’t pay $60 dollars for Episode 2.

If you get a chance, read the nice comments at the end of Mr. Hip-Hop’s article.

Battlefield 1943

Well, we’re not getting BF3, but we are going to get BF1943. It looks like a Frostbite rehash of Battlefield 1942. The video looks pretty freaking cool though.

I cant embed, here is a link.

More News from the PCGA

As you probably know by now, the PC Gaming Alliance has just let out some big information within the past couple of days. Capcom, one of the oldest companies in the game biz has joined forces with the PCGA. They have had an active roll bringing their console titles to PC, including Devil May Cry series, Lost Planet, and most recently the hotly anticipated Street Fighter 4.

To me this is a big deal. A large Japanese developer holding firm with the PC platform. I applaud the efforts of Capcom and associates for sanding behind the only true open platform. Good news for PC Gamers everywhere, even if you don’t seem to like their PC offerings. (Holding breath for Dead Rising PC)

In other tidbits, EA announced a new Battlefield: Bad Company and not BF3 like we had all hoped. It will be running on the same engine as the first game. Bullocks I say!

FFVII: Advent Children

Alright. I’ve seen it. Inspected every bit. I want to know WTF is going on.  After wasting 90 minutes of my life watching this movie, I had a few notes. Maybe some one can help me out here.

• What is up with the androgynous weirdoes. In a world filled with violence, there is only one masculine looking dude. Everyone else has long hair.
• Why is everyone so damn depressed? There is too much “emo” bullshit for me. It’s almost like an animated 90210 episode. Final Fantasy: High school.
• Over-over the top action. The matrix is one thing, but this is an entirely different beast. Motorcycles that can instantaneously drive backwards after spinning out?  Re-tar-ded in my opinion.
• Speaking of motorcycles, if Cloud can fly, why the fuck does he ride a motor cycle?
• The movie did have some cool 80’s metal/rock mixed with some interesting symphony accompaniments.
• There were some neat character designs, especially the dude with the gun arm.

I guess I just can’t get into the whole universe of FF. I liked “Spirits Within” but according to FF purists I know, it had nothing to do with the FF universe. I played FFXI for 6months still don’t get this movie. I’ll leave it to the PS3 fan boys  to cream over.

This is a Test of Windows Live Writer

Well, I’m being brash and bold this morning. I’m trying something new for putting this blog together. If it works well, I will probably be blogging a bit more. As of late, I have caught the face book bug and can’t take myself away from that.

Resident Evil 5: Is this even a zombie game?

After watching a "viral" ad for the new Resident Evil 5 video game I had a few questions buzzing around my head. Mind you that I am not a Resident Evil aficionado:

1. Is this even a zombie game? There are "zombies" shooting crossbows etc., performing complex tasks. This series seems to be leaving its roots behind for the more run of the mill shooter.

2. I'm guessing this Chris person is the character from the game? Where is Mila Jovovoaovovovitch?

3. Why live action again?

4. How many games does it take to sink a franchise?

5. Where is Dennis Hopper?

Dear Lord, please give the police and media a brain! (Parents too!)

Dear God, Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and The Wizard of Oz:

Today I am writing you because of a very important issue. Here in America, there has been an increase in the amount of people shooting other people up in public places. There was the crazy Virgina Tech shootings, the Halo 3 Killer, the Mortal Combat killer, Columbine Shooting, and now this...you get my point. Have mercy on the killers and all, but that's not why I'm writing today.

Today I am asking that you give a brain to the media, police investigators, and some half-wit parents who can't seem to understand that children can be mentally unstable. (By Children I mean anyone under the age of 18.) Being a teenager can be hard. They think that their life is the center of the universe, and that no problem in their life will be more important than anything they have to deal with now. Some times, kids can't cope with their drama trauma and they steal a gun and shoot a person.

But how come the cops, the government, the parents, and the media all want to find a scape-goat and not blame the fucked up children? We are so quick to judge these days that we don't really look deeper than the surface. Sure, that dude shot up Virginia Tech, but he was a basket case. It was't because he played Counter-Strike for 30 hours a day. He played counter-strike because he was fucked up in the head(everyone knows Counter-Strike players are weird fuckers). Joking aside, before we jerk our knees into our faces, lets actually look at the facts. There are millions of well adjusted teens playing video games all over the nation. These kids aren't shooting anyone but their friends' digital avatars. Most kids know when fantasy ends and reality begins.

If you read the news articles, you will see that the 24-year old killed him self at the end of the shooting spree.(I'm speculating he had some issues.) It also said that he was quiet and stuck to himself. Referencing back to the movie anger management, (paraphrase) "there are 2 types of people, explosive and implosive. Explosive is the person yelling at the casheir because their coupon expired, and implosive people keep their emotions bottled up until they burst, shooting up every thing in the store."

For me, video games are a release. It allows me to blow stuff up in a controlled environment, so I don't act out my aggressions on my wife, my coworkers, or random people at a night club.

So, whom ever may be listening, please let the authorites, news media, and lame ass parents, find a brain, wether it be used, new, or somewhere in between. Let them see that Video Games are not fucking up our children. The answer lies deeper than you think.

The Rage; It's Filling Me Up

OK, we got some interesting things to discuss today. The Rage Quitters. Do you know what that is? Apparently it is someone who gets mad when they get their ass whopped at an online video game (specifically Left4Dead) and leaves in the middle of a game. While playing earlier last week, we encountered this to a frightening degree. People dropping left and right just after getting slaughtered 5 feet out of the apartment door.

I think it's time for you kiddies to learn to take a whoopin'n. Maybe its because when I was a kid I got a belt to the ass when I was bad. Maybe its because I'm playing against the instant gratification generation. If they can't win, they storm off and pout.

I think I'm ready to see the Xbox Kiddies grow up. Maybe not. That could possible be bad.

Example:
Employer to interviewee: "Mr. Smith, I see you have quite the impressive resume, but I really don't think that you would be a good fit for our firm."

Interviewee: "WHAT?!? YOU FUCKING JERKS! MY SKILLS ARE 1337! NOONE CAN DO THE JOB LIKE ME. I FUCKED YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT JERKASS. KISS MY NUTS DOUCHE. I FUCKIN' PWNED YOU AND YOUR RETARDED COMPANY!!!!"

I'm not sure what it is, but when there is a power vaccuume on a team, I will try to fill it. If you can give a team direction, it usually helps alot. Most of the time you have 4 wondering idiots trying to shoot their way through a pile of zombies. At the first sign of trouble, some one will sneak away and run to the safe house. If i was one of the last 4 people on planet Earth, I don't think I would be running away from my pals, even if it meant certain doom.

What would Jesus do?

Free Radical Closes and out Pops Battlefront 3

The Star Wars Battlefront series has always been kind of a bone of contention with me. Its a cross between Star Wars and Battlefield. The PC version has been limited in scope and feels like you are fighting a battle in a snow globe. Since the demise of the developer, Free Radical, footage of the the ill-fated Battlefront 3 leaked to the web via Kotaku.

The footage looks neat. I looks like Free Radical tried to bring a new, unteathered expirience to the game. Check it out for yourself.

Left 4 Dead Update

Looks like Valve went ahead and put out the patch for L4D. Getting rid of some of the annoying shit that was plaguing the PC verision for a while now. Here is a partial list, hit the jump for the full scoop.

Hunter

• Easier to pounce a Survivor who is meleeing
  
• Increased Minimum damage a Hunter pounce does
  

Smoker

• Fixed Smoker tongue tolerance
  
• Smoker now has to be killed or the tongue destroyed for the tongue to break
  
• Survivors cannot bash someone off the tongue until the Survivor being pulled is paralyzed or hanging
  
• Tongue attacks that fail to paralyze or hang a Survivor will use the shorter ability delay timer
  
• Fixed cases where the ability timer was not using the correct time
  
• Fixed case where you could point at a Survivor but not register a tongue hit
  
• Fixed Smoker tongue not targeting and landing properly through PZ ghosts
  
• Smoker tongue does damage every second while dragging paralyzed Survivors
  

Tank

• Bashable objects now appear with a red glow
  
• Tanks hitting a car with an alarm disables the alarm permanently
  
• Tank frustration timer is only reset by hitting Survivors with rocks or fists
  
• Reduced autoshotgun damage against Tanks
  

Witch

• Witch spawns at the same % through the map for both teams
  
• Avoids spawning within a certain % of the tank
  
• Fixed an exploit where the Witch could be woken up and tricked into attacking Survivors

January Goodness

Well, word on the street is that we are going to be getting a L4D game update this week to removes some bugs/exploits from the PC version of the game. We are also awaiting a content update for L4D for both PC and 360 that will be released at the same time. Although due to Live Marketplace rules, Valve is going to have to charge for content via the 360. The DLC will be free as always on the PC.

Not sure if any of you are 1up.com readers, but it looks like the UGO.com network has gobbled up 1up.com from ZiffDavis. Aparrently about 30 employees were booted that day, including Ryan Scott from the "LAN Party/PC podcast" that I really enjoyed listening to.

Crayon Physics is finally a full game. The tech demo that was released a few months back was able to finish the game, and now look for Crayon physics deluxe for purchase. Here is a link to the download via RockPaperShotgun.com

Remeber, we have a ton of good games on the horizon for the upcoming months including StarCraft 2, Dawn of War 2, and Mirror's Edge.

Sabatical

Well, as we all know, I've been gone for a month. Just getting rid of the Holiday cheer. There are alot of developing news stories over the past few weeks, I'll have a new years round up comming shortly.

Absolute Power

If anyone has been living under a rock the past few days, read this. For the rest of us, Illinois Gov. Rob Blagojevich is now back to work after posting a "signature bond" for 4,800 dollars. Corruption, Corruption, Corruption is all over the news. There seems to be something about these corruption cases that has caught my eye in recent hours. After reading a GamePolitics article, a weird idea popped into my head.

Why are Governors who support violent game laws getting busted for corruption? Mr. Spitzer was busted a few months back for paying prostitutes with government funds. Now, Mr. Blagojevitch is in the process of getting nailed for trying to sell Barack Obama's senate seat to the highest bidder. Both men who either supported or were propents of laws banning violent video games. (Both happen to be Democrats.)

There seems to be something about this mentality, a "Holier than thou" if you will, that doesn't compute. They want to save us from ourselves, yet they are living on the edge. Absolute power corrupts absolutely as they say. What makes these douchebags think they are above the law.

I hope this serves a reminder why the people hold the power in this country. If anyone tries to trample your liberties, Democrat or Republican, tell them to get lost.

Remember kids, Do as I say, not as I do!

Just Aweful...

Alright parents. Get your shit together. Put on your common sense caps and read this story. Two children, 6 and 7 years of age, stoned and hung a kitten by the cord of a video game controller after playing a session of GTA.

What is wrong with this picture. Psychotic children? Maybe. Violent Game? I'll give you that one. Under the recommended age for such game? Definitely. Parents? No where to be seen. Again and again we see children playing violent games who shouldn't be playing them. If the government wants to regulate something, how about bad parenting.

Such a heinous act perpetrated by children under the age of ten. Throwing rocks at a small animal and then hanging it by a controller is just sickening, even for an adult to do. GTA you can kill cops and hookers, but animals? These are some fucked up times we are living in folks.

According to the reports, it doesn't say that the game inspired them to do this, but you have to have some sick fucking ideas already implanted into their brains. One of the mother is an undocumented illegal and the other is on a work visa so it makes it hard to prosecute, and according to state law, children under 8 cannot be tried for crimes.

I don't know what to say. This fucking makes me sick...

Brad Wardell - Stardock man of...AWESOME

After stumbling around the web links on Jeff Green's blog, I found a link to Brad Wardell, CEO of Stardock. This dude is now my official hero. A Game Dev with common sense. I'm adding him to my cool links!

Sessler Says It!

Adam Sessler has a great rant on his Soap Box.