The Rage; It's Filling Me Up

OK, we got some interesting things to discuss today. The Rage Quitters. Do you know what that is? Apparently it is someone who gets mad when they get their ass whopped at an online video game (specifically Left4Dead) and leaves in the middle of a game. While playing earlier last week, we encountered this to a frightening degree. People dropping left and right just after getting slaughtered 5 feet out of the apartment door.

I think it's time for you kiddies to learn to take a whoopin'n. Maybe its because when I was a kid I got a belt to the ass when I was bad. Maybe its because I'm playing against the instant gratification generation. If they can't win, they storm off and pout.

I think I'm ready to see the Xbox Kiddies grow up. Maybe not. That could possible be bad.

Example:
Employer to interviewee: "Mr. Smith, I see you have quite the impressive resume, but I really don't think that you would be a good fit for our firm."

Interviewee: "WHAT?!? YOU FUCKING JERKS! MY SKILLS ARE 1337! NOONE CAN DO THE JOB LIKE ME. I FUCKED YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT JERKASS. KISS MY NUTS DOUCHE. I FUCKIN' PWNED YOU AND YOUR RETARDED COMPANY!!!!"

I'm not sure what it is, but when there is a power vaccuume on a team, I will try to fill it. If you can give a team direction, it usually helps alot. Most of the time you have 4 wondering idiots trying to shoot their way through a pile of zombies. At the first sign of trouble, some one will sneak away and run to the safe house. If i was one of the last 4 people on planet Earth, I don't think I would be running away from my pals, even if it meant certain doom.

What would Jesus do?

Battlefield Noobfest? Another Battlefield Game in the Works

Yessiree you heard right. A new game from developer D.I.C.E is just around the corner. And I know how excited you are about new games in the Battlefield franchise. Lets count the wonder: Codename: Eagle, Battlefield 1942, Road to Rome, Secret Weapons of WWII, Battlefield: Vietnam, Battlefield 2, BF2: Special Forces, Euro Force, Armored Fury, BF2142, Norther Strike, Battlefield: Bad Company, and now Battlefield Heroes. Yes, the fine tradition of the Battlefield Series, EA and DICE have devised a quick and painless way to rid you of your spare cash laying on hand. It will be a free to download and play, supposedly running on older systems. Reports from PHL and other gaming sites report that it may be close to that of BF1942 hardware requirments. It will be a cartoon style shooter, with fully customizable players. "What's the catch" you say? I know you know that there are no free lunches. The new painless way to rid you of your cash would be micro-transactions. Like that of the Nintendo Wii and Xbox Live, you don't have to pay for the game, but if you want new shirts or faces or whatever crap they allow for consumption, you are going to have to shell out some micro-transaction credit cards.

So lets recap really quick: The game requires less processing power, it's free to play and download, quicker access to play, you can customize every aspect of your soldier. As if the Battlefield Series wasn't already riddled with douches and 10 year olds who scream for chocolate milk. I think what's going on here is an attempt by EA/DICE to bank on the new Myspace Generation of kids, who require instant gratification, can't be away from their top 8, need total customization and some sort of ranking system to show their EMO buddies how much they don't suck at something.

It seems like poor Team Fortress 2 rip off. I think what gets me the most is DICE's inability to actually support a product once it has launched. So, like the rest of the franchise, we will see a spike in game play, and then slowly sputter out once DICE has moved on to create Battlefield Heroes 2: The Money You Hid Under Your Mattress.

Just as a side note: Check out gamespy.com, somewhere on the right hand of the page, if you scroll down far enough you can see how many folks are playing what games. Battlefield had close to 14,000 players where as BF2142 (the superior game by DICE standards) had a whopping 300 players. This was on the weekend around 9pm PST. Certainly the BF2 player base should have been absorbed into other games by now.

Vindication of Sorts

Well it looks as if gamers everywhere have fought back. See my previous post. After being severely smitten by the unresearched musings of Fox News' Live Desk and Cooper Lawrence, gamers everywhere took to Amazon.com and smeared Lawrence's new book by posting scathing reviews of the book, thus making the book rating plummet to 1.5 stars. Some reviewers even stated that they disliked the book even though they did not read it. Much the same statement as Lawrence made on the "Faux News" program reguarding Mass Effect.

Now, I'm not condoning the actions of gamers, but I do feel vindication in a "karmatic" sort of way. Unsubstanciated claims, especailly when false, hurt everyone. I guess Ms. Lawrence is feeling the effects first hand.

Is the weight of the world on my shoulders?

Here is the situation in football terms: 2 minutes left on the play clock in overtime. It's down the final drive. Your team has the ball, and the score is tied. Your team lines up to snap the football, the center's sweaty hands reach for the ball. The quarterback anxiously eyes the field for the defensive formation. The QB yells hike, the play starts, and the players run forward. They keep running and then at midfield, turn a hard right and b-line it to the locker room to hide.

In layman's terms thats what happens on a regular basis in many online matches of TF2. Noobies, wankers, and douche bags. I'm not talking about the usual pussy-ass snipers, but the real idiots who hide out in the base only to wait for their chance to join the rest of the gibblets.

This is a shout-out to all of you PIECE OF SHIT-ASSWIPING-DOUCHBAGGING-SMACKTALKING-DILL WEEDS who need to start acting like men. The next one I see turtling up in your base, I'm going to smack yo' momma in the face...

So there. I said it. It's what we have all been thinking. If you don't like it, go to hell.